Job Interview

Cat: Listen you punks, I’ve got your so-called job offer in the mail yesterday. Jeff: Ah, thank you very much for calling back! Cat: Did you really think that I was going to work for such an insensitive garage shop as yours? Jeff: Well, that’s up to our officer of diverse sensitivity at this point. Jeff: But now that you bring it up, may I ask your gender? Cat: I... are you... Jeff: You see, we’ve already hired so many cis people… would you be willing to say you’re trans? Cat: WHAT?! Manager: Jeff? why are salon, vice and jezebel writing articles about us? Jeff: Well… how much exactly do you remember of that night at the bar? Manager: JEFF YOU BASTARD!

Cat: Listen you punks, I’ve got your so-called job offer in the mail yesterday.
Jeff: Ah, thank you very much for calling back!
Cat: Did you really think that I was going to work for such an insensitive garage shop as yours?
Jeff: Well, that’s up to our officer of diverse sensitivity at this point.
Jeff: But now that you bring it up, may I ask your gender?
Cat: I… are you…
Jeff: You see, we’ve already hired so many cis people… would you be willing to say you’re trans?
Cat: WHAT?!
Manager: Jeff? why are salon, vice and jezebel writing articles about us?
Jeff: Well… how much exactly do you remember of that night at the bar?
Manager: JEFF YOU BASTARD!

Job Offer

Job Offer

Dog: What’s this? Cat: No idea, it came in the mail today. Mail: As a gratification for your invaluable contributions based on your expert knowledge in the field of applied feline studies, please accept this included check. Dog: A check? Whoa! Mail: We also would like to offer you a position as a consultant for social marketing… Dog: Heyyy, you got a job! Cat: …here at true teas?! What the actual fuck?! A short while later… Manager: Hey Jeff, #trueteas is trending again. What did you do? Jeff: Uhm… remember that drunk idea you had in this bar last weekend? About that social justice nutter? Manager: Oh you didn’t… Jeff: Yes, I did!

Grow Up

Grow Up

Cat: One last time: your packaging is offensive and triggering! Manager: Then don’t buy it. we didn’t make it for you. Cat: I won’t, and neither will my followers! Manager: You already said that. so nothing of value is lost. Cat: Is this how you treat your customers?! Manager: You are not a customer. grow up. Cat: OK, that’s it. I tried reasoning with you. what comes next is on you… Phone: *click* Cat: Hello?! A while later… Manager: Yo jeff! #trueteas is trending on twitter and facebook! Jeff: Ha! Told you so, i’ll get the champagne!

Writing History

Writing History

Manager: Thanks for holding. how many followers do you have? Cat: Literally thousands! so you better start treating me well right now! Manager: How many followers exactly? Cat: 2037 as of this morning. My followers share my interest in a respectful, diverse and inclusive society and whant to know of you how cultural… Manager: Cut the crap, please. what is it that yo want? Cat: We demand an apology, in public, for your sexist and cultural appropriating packaging of your tea. and we demand… Manager: No. Cat: B…but…ebbe… Jeff: Poor thing. doesn’t know what hit her! Manager: Jeff, right now we’re writing history of social marketing!

Useful Idiot

Useful Idiot

Phone: True teas purchases and marketing, how can i help you? Cat: I’m calling to tell you that your product line is problematic. Phone: If you have a problem with our tea, I’d be glad to connect you to customer services… Cat: No, I don’t have a problem and certainly never will be a customer! Phone: So why are you calling? Cat: My followers want to know your opinion on CULTURAL APPROPRIATION. Phone: I see. Please hold. Meanwhile at True Teas HQ… Manager: Jeff! i’ve got one of those social justice nutters on the line! Jeff: Ask how many followers, maybe we can stop the ad campaign!